From roots-in@roots-l.rootsweb.com Sun Sep 10 12:51:26 2006 Received: from mail.rootsweb.com (mail.rootsweb.com [192.168.65.34]) by admin.rootsweb.com (8.12.8/8.12.8) with ESMTP id k8AIpQjb001801; Sun, 10 Sep 2006 12:51:26 -0600 Received: from roots-l.rootsweb.com (roots-l.rootsweb.com [66.43.16.22]) by mail.rootsweb.com (8.13.4/8.13.4) with ESMTP id k8AIpQ6c013915 for ; Sun, 10 Sep 2006 12:51:26 -0600 Received: from roots-l.rootsweb.com (roots-l [127.0.0.1]) by roots-l.rootsweb.com (8.12.10/8.12.10) with ESMTP id k8AGAFFI011908 for ; Sun, 10 Sep 2006 12:10:15 -0400 Received: (from roots-in@localhost) by roots-l.rootsweb.com (8.12.10/8.12.8/Submit) id k8AGAFqO011907 for roots-approved@rootsweb.com; Sun, 10 Sep 2006 12:10:15 -0400 Received: from lists5.rootsweb.com (lists5.rootsweb.com [66.43.27.41]) by roots-l.rootsweb.com (8.12.10/8.12.10) with SMTP id k8AFCuFI011721 for ; Sun, 10 Sep 2006 11:12:56 -0400 Received: (from slist@localhost) by lists5.rootsweb.com (8.12.8/8.12.8) id k8AHrujZ017050 for roots-in@roots-l.rootsweb.com; Sun, 10 Sep 2006 11:53:56 -0600 X-Envelope-From: viking@rvi.net Sun Sep 10 11:53:56 2006 Received: from mail.rootsweb.com (mail.rootsweb.com [192.168.65.34]) by admin.rootsweb.com (8.12.8/8.12.8) with ESMTP id k8AHrujb017041 for ; Sun, 10 Sep 2006 11:53:56 -0600 Received: from mailfilter4.uci.net (mailfilter4.uci.net [216.104.72.83]) by mail.rootsweb.com (8.13.4/8.13.4) with SMTP id k8AHrprx002278 for ; Sun, 10 Sep 2006 11:53:52 -0600 Received: (qmail 9779 invoked from network); 10 Sep 2006 17:53:46 -0000 Received: from 6ip100.adninternet.com (HELO NEWHAL) (63.224.193.100) by mailfilter4.uci.net with SMTP; 10 Sep 2006 17:53:46 -0000 From: "Kirsten Bowman" To: , Subject: RE: [ROOTS-L] Why won't my cousins talk to me? :) Date: Sun, 10 Sep 2006 10:53:37 -0700 Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Priority: 3 (Normal) X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook IMO, Build 9.0.6604 (9.0.2911.0) In-Reply-To: <321.a1e0b91.32354e20@aol.com> X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2900.2962 Importance: Normal X-Scanned-By: MIMEDefang 2.52 on 192.168.65.34 X-Scanned-By: MIMEDefang 2.52 on 192.168.65.34 Sender: roots-in@roots-l.rootsweb.com Patricia: Well that added paragraph says a good deal about your probable cousins' desire to get involved. If it were me and I wanted information from cousins I hadn't met, I'd send an introductory letter (with *no reports*--they just confuse people). I'd probably say that I was researching family history, drop some interesting historical tidbit about a common ancestor, and ask if they would be willing to contribute information to your research. Word the letter to make it comfortable for them to say no if they're so inclined--maybe just have them write "sure" or "no thanks" on the bottom of your letter. Enclose a SASE and hope for about a 10% response rate with either a yes or no. Unfortunately with your first approach you may have already closed those particular doors, but they might not have been productive anyway. You could always try again--at the risk of being charged with harrassment. Kirsten -----Original Message----- From: roots-in@roots-l.rootsweb.com [mailto:roots-in@roots-l.rootsweb.com]On Behalf Of Patscga@aol.com Sent: Sunday, September 10, 2006 4:17 AM To: ROOTS-M@rootsweb.com Subject: Re: [ROOTS-L] Why won't my cousins talk to me? :) In a message dated 9/9/2006 4:46:27 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, patriciasears@rogers.com writes: Due to some unusual surnames in my family, I have been able to trace probable living relatives on the web on sites like www.411.ca. However, when I send letters of inquiry, introducing myself and my genealogy interests, and inviting them to trade family history information, I either get no response, or a few tidbits (i.e. "I have a son Tommy and two grandsons Tommy Jr. and Jimmy.") with no other important details. This is starting to become very frustrating. Any suggestions? I've sent genealogy reports to at least 20 relatives and only two responded with a thank you. I called them and got a little bit more information but not much. The vast majority of people aren't interested, I'm afraid. One cousin even told me to stop "annoying" him.