From roots-in@roots-l.rootsweb.com Mon Mar 6 07:58:39 2006 Received: from mail.rootsweb.com (mail.rootsweb.com [192.168.65.34]) by admin.rootsweb.com (8.12.8/8.12.8) with ESMTP id k26Ewdjb003100; Mon, 6 Mar 2006 07:58:39 -0700 Received: from roots-l.rootsweb.com (roots-l.rootsweb.com [66.43.16.22]) by mail.rootsweb.com (8.13.4/8.13.4) with ESMTP id k26EwcxV017136 for ; Mon, 6 Mar 2006 07:58:38 -0700 Received: from roots-l.rootsweb.com (roots-l [127.0.0.1]) by roots-l.rootsweb.com (8.12.10/8.12.10) with ESMTP id k26CSbFI024797 for ; Mon, 6 Mar 2006 07:28:37 -0500 Received: (from roots-in@localhost) by roots-l.rootsweb.com (8.12.10/8.12.8/Submit) id k26CSbBu024796 for roots-approved@rootsweb.com; Mon, 6 Mar 2006 07:28:37 -0500 Received: from lists5.rootsweb.com (lists5.rootsweb.com [66.43.27.41]) by roots-l.rootsweb.com (8.12.10/8.12.10) with SMTP id k26C8fFI024586 for ; Mon, 6 Mar 2006 07:08:41 -0500 Received: (from slist@localhost) by lists5.rootsweb.com (8.12.8/8.12.8) id k26EcWhG024706 for roots-in@roots-l.rootsweb.com; Mon, 6 Mar 2006 07:38:32 -0700 X-Envelope-From: MaeMay510@aol.com Mon Mar 6 07:38:31 2006 Received: from mail.rootsweb.com (mail.rootsweb.com [192.168.65.34]) by admin.rootsweb.com (8.12.8/8.12.8) with ESMTP id k26EcVjb024695 for ; Mon, 6 Mar 2006 07:38:31 -0700 Received: from imo-d04.mx.aol.com (imo-d04.mx.aol.com [205.188.157.36]) by mail.rootsweb.com (8.13.4/8.13.4) with ESMTP id k26EcVej006342 for ; Mon, 6 Mar 2006 07:38:31 -0700 Received: from MaeMay510@aol.com by imo-d04.mx.aol.com (mail_out_v38_r7.3.) id e.20f.1399677d (57317) for ; Mon, 6 Mar 2006 09:38:21 -0500 (EST) From: MaeMay510@aol.com Message-ID: <20f.1399677d.313da35d@aol.com> Date: Mon, 6 Mar 2006 09:38:21 EST To: ROOTS-L@rootsweb.com MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" X-Mailer: 9.0 Security Edition for Windows sub 5301 X-Spam-Flag: NO X-Scanned-By: MIMEDefang 2.52 on 192.168.65.34 X-Scanned-By: MIMEDefang 2.52 on 192.168.65.34 Sender: roots-in@roots-l.rootsweb.com Subject: [ROOTS-L] Revealing skeletons In a message dated 3/5/2006 10:37:27 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, ROOTS-L-request@rootsweb.com writes: About 25 years ago, my mother received a letter from the granddaughter of this union asking if my mother could explain why her grandparents were married the day after her mother was born. Even though all of the people involved were dead, my mother refused to tell her the truth. On the other hand, if she had written to me, I would have told her the truth and the sad and yet romantic story of unfulfilled love. I would have not felt anyone would be hurt by the truth and, for this young woman, she had a right to know what her true ancestry was. Bottom line - is there ever a point in time when it is justifiable to reveal the truth on a couple who produced a child out of wedlock? I have the same dilemma. I know that a woman who was reared as the child of her father was actually a child of a man who was killed in WWII. Everyone in the family knew this secret and I learned of it while doing research. Her mother, long dead, threatened the children so severely if they ever revealed this to her daughter, something terrible would happen. She so scared the children that to this day...the "child" is in her 80's...they won't tell her. I knew this cousin in law and she seemed so hurt most of the time. Her mother seemed to be distant, etc. Perhaps telling her would be a kindness. Perhaps an explanation of some things that troubled her, especially in her later years.. But, the kids (all elderly now) assured me something terrible will happen if anyone tells her. We smile over it, but no one is going to tell her. It is in my manuscript, however. Shirley Maynard Hampton, VA