From roots-in@roots-l.rootsweb.com Sun Mar 5 20:35:05 2006 Received: from mail.rootsweb.com (mail.rootsweb.com [192.168.65.34]) by admin.rootsweb.com (8.12.8/8.12.8) with ESMTP id k263Z5jb004247; Sun, 5 Mar 2006 20:35:05 -0700 Received: from roots-l.rootsweb.com (roots-l.rootsweb.com [66.43.16.22]) by mail.rootsweb.com (8.13.4/8.13.4) with ESMTP id k263Z520006346 for ; Sun, 5 Mar 2006 20:35:05 -0700 Received: from roots-l.rootsweb.com (roots-l [127.0.0.1]) by roots-l.rootsweb.com (8.12.10/8.12.10) with ESMTP id k26156FI022937 for ; Sun, 5 Mar 2006 20:05:06 -0500 Received: (from roots-in@localhost) by roots-l.rootsweb.com (8.12.10/8.12.8/Submit) id k26156iV022936 for roots-approved@rootsweb.com; Sun, 5 Mar 2006 20:05:06 -0500 Received: from lists5.rootsweb.com (lists5.rootsweb.com [66.43.27.41]) by roots-l.rootsweb.com (8.12.10/8.12.10) with SMTP id k25EwKFI021848 for ; Sun, 5 Mar 2006 09:58:20 -0500 Received: (from slist@localhost) by lists5.rootsweb.com (8.12.8/8.12.8) id k25HS73s026154 for roots-in@roots-l.rootsweb.com; Sun, 5 Mar 2006 10:28:07 -0700 X-Envelope-From: ColonialKin@aol.com Sun Mar 5 10:28:07 2006 Received: from mail.rootsweb.com (mail.rootsweb.com [192.168.65.34]) by admin.rootsweb.com (8.12.8/8.12.8) with ESMTP id k25HS7jb026141 for ; Sun, 5 Mar 2006 10:28:07 -0700 Received: from imo-d04.mx.aol.com (imo-d04.mx.aol.com [205.188.157.36]) by mail.rootsweb.com (8.13.4/8.13.4) with ESMTP id k25HS5Ba032764 for ; Sun, 5 Mar 2006 10:28:06 -0700 Received: from ColonialKin@aol.com by imo-d04.mx.aol.com (mail_out_v38_r7.3.) id e.291.6b04715 (4418) for ; Sun, 5 Mar 2006 12:27:55 -0500 (EST) From: ColonialKin@aol.com Message-ID: <291.6b04715.313c799b@aol.com> Date: Sun, 5 Mar 2006 12:27:55 EST To: ROOTS-M@rootsweb.com MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" X-Mailer: Thunderbird - Mac OS X sub 207 X-Spam-Flag: NO X-Scanned-By: MIMEDefang 2.52 on 192.168.65.34 X-Scanned-By: MIMEDefang 2.52 on 192.168.65.34 Subject: [ROOTS-L] Family Secrets Sender: roots-in@roots-l.rootsweb.com For most of us, we will uncover an ancestor/ancestress at some point in time whose parents were not married when he/she was born - and the mother did not marry the birth father which often lead to "cover-ups" of the true parentage. For me, genealogy is the pursuit of tracing a blood line - no matter where it takes me. The question then becomes when should someone reveal the "truth." Case in point- Ny great uncle fell in love and wanted to marry a young woman whose brother and sister were married to my great uncle's sister and brother. His mother absolutely forbade another inter- marriage (early 1900s) and they abandoned their plans for marriage. However, they continued to "see" each other in secret liasons, the outcome was a pregnancy. The pregnancy was kept secret until the birth was imminent and, the day following the birth of their daughter, the young woman was married off to her father's hired farm hand who was a Canadian national. Shortly thereafter, he was drafted into service for WW 1 and was killed but the child was brought up as a child of the Canadian and the young woman - no one in the small village ever revealed the truth. About 25 years ago, my mother received a letter from the granddaughter of this union asking if my mother could explain why her grandparents were married the day after her mother was born. Even though all of the people involved were dead, my mother refused to tell her the truth. On the other hand, if she had written to me, I would have told her the truth and the sad and yet romantic story of unfulfilled love. I would have not felt anyone would be hurt by the truth and, for this young woman, she had a right to know what her true ancestry was. Bottom line - is there ever a point in time when it is justifiable to reveal the truth on a couple who produced a child out of wedlock? Jan